Man's Best Friend

Fellow Toastmasters, honored guests.

One night when I was seventeen years old, I was driving home.  I was about 500 yards before a two lane bridge, and there was a car approaching from the other direction.  All of a sudden, another car from behind the car entered my lane and was coming at me head on.  He showed no signs of stopping, and there were cars along side the shoulder because people were night fishing, and my only hope was an empty space on the shoulder before the bridge.  I accelerated my car, slammed on the brakes, and steered into the shoulder while stopping barely before the bridge rail in front of me.  The jerk driver never slowed down, and he actually had the nerve to honk at me as he drove on by.

As my heart slowed down, I realized that if I had done anything differently, I would have been dead.  That's when I learned to love man's best friend, fear.

I have to think that fear is an emotion that evolved quickly through the process of natural selection.  Early cavemen without fear were soon dinner.  "Me Ogg, me no afraid of sabre-toothed tiger..."  But what is fear, and why does it seem to cripple some, while others are seemingly unaffected by it?

I'd like to spend the next few minutes talking about various perspectives on fear, people's response to fear, and how to cope with it.

Perspectives on Fear
Some common quotes on fear...

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."  Franklin Delano Roosevelt.  In my view, this is proof good public speaking can make pure nonsense sound reasonable (which sadly is how most politicians get elected).  People are afraid of things that can harm them, fear can harm you only if you let it.

A quote from my favorite bad movie, Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins--"Fear is a feeling, you feel hot, you feel angry, you feel hungry, you feel afraid.  Fear will never kill you."

This argues that fear is largely a physiological response, and I believe this idea has merit.  I'll discuss more on this later.

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear."--Mark Twain.  Mark Twain makes an important point, it's not that people who seem unaffected by fear are not afraid, instead, they learn to perform while they are experiencing fear.

So if fear is just a feeling, what is going on in your body when you are experiencing fear?

Responses to Fear
Fear is the body's response to a threat.  Relying on Wikipedia, physical responses to fear may include:

1. Release of adrenaline
2. Pupils dilate
3. Blood vessels for muscles dilate, providing more oxygen to muscles..
4. Increased blood flow also increases the nutrients supplied to muscles
5. Perspiration increases (you've seen this on open-mic night)
6. Personal observation, time slows down, or maybe I process my information more quickly.
7. In extreme cases, relaxation of the bladder and colon, often to embarrassing consequences.

All of these responses are to assist in the fight or flight to a physical threat, and it is a great way to run from the sabre toothed tiger.  However, these responses aren't ideal for social situations, and they can lead to not only freezing and panic ('going tharn' in Watership Down), but also anger or boisterousness.  Often times the bully, or 'that guy' in the party is really exhibiting false bravado, they are just as scared as the person they are intimidating (or annoying).

When you recognize the many ways people respond to fear outside the normal deer in the headlights response, you learn to detect when people are afraid.  When you know what someone fears, you also learn a lot about them.

Coping with Fear
How to cope with fear. An eternal question.  I think the first thing to recognize is that fear is not a bad thing, it is healthy.  But because it's a change in your physiological condition, you need to adapt your mindset to the body's state.  Not relying on any other references besides my own musings, I would offer the following advice.

-Breathe.  If the first response of the body is to increase oxygen flow to the muscles, the oxygen must be replenished.  If you are not breathing to compensate, your body will feel oxygen starvation.  Consider another state when the body is feeling oxygen starvation: drowning.  So what does a drowning person often do when they realize their life is about to end?  Panic.  Which is exactly the wrong thing to do in almost any situation.  So when you are afraid, remember to breathe.

-Focus and act:  Now that you're breathing, you are less likely to panic.  Great, but it's also time to realize that you need to act now.  What put the fear in you is the realization that action is required.  Assess the situation with your heightened senses, process it, and make what you perceive to be the logical choice.  Most of the time, doing something is better than doing nothing.  Most of the time, but remember choosing not to act can be the best action.

-For events where fear will be there...practice makes more perfect:  Mary Schmich (of 'Wear Sunscreen' fame) said  'Do one thing each day that scares you.'  It's good, solid advice.  If you are accustomed to being afraid, you become comfortable acting while you are afraid, and then you learn how to manage it.  Plus, it can be a lot of fun.

-Finally, Goethe said, 'Be Bold, and Powerful Forces Will Come to Your Aid.':  Others say fortune favors the bold, but I think the reality is those that act in the face of fear have acted when others chose not to, and they yielded the rewards of their bravery.

Now let's go back to the opening of my speech.  When the car entered my lane, I could quickly see that there were cars on the side of the road that I needed to pass.  Remember it was dark, so my eyes had dilated.  I was working with seconds, but time seemed to slow down. I made a decision very rapidly and executed it with precision.  I didn't panic, I acted fast.  All of the symptoms of fear were present that evening, and because of them, I'm alive today to talk with you fine people.  Therefore, fear is, indeed, my best friend.

Fellow Toastmasters, honored guests, thank you for your time.